Want to be a better parent? Knowing your current parenting style will help you identify areas for improvement. Promoting self-discipline and self-esteem in your family often requires an emotional juggling act on your part as a parent. It's not easy to be tough and demanding one minute, and then be warm and cuddly the next. This is an ongoing educational process for both parents and children. In addition, many adults are born with personalities or temperaments that make them adapt to one parenting style or another.
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1. Authoritarian ParentingParents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are called authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are bullies, demanding submission and respect above all else. They become angry and overzealous when they do not receive this submission and respect. Their love and acceptance seem completely conditional on the child. They do not teach or listen to their children or explain the reasons for their expectations, which are often unrealistic. They often view their children's individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening.
Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to produce more withdrawn, anxious, distrustful, and disgruntled children. These children are often neglected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often low.
2. Permissive parentingParents who put too much emphasis on the self-esteem aspect of the equation are called permissive. They can be warm and supportive, but they are not very disciplined - even in the privacy of their own home. They are less demanding of good behaviors and tend to avoid or ignore unpleasant behaviors. They seem to believe that children should grow up without anger, tears or frustration. They reinforce their children's demanding and inconsiderate behaviors and often find it easier to simply give in to their child's demands. Their love and acceptance are "unconditional" in the worst sense of the word, as they place few rules or limits on what their child does.
Research has shown that permissive parents tend to have more immature, demanding, and dependent children. These children are often rejected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and difficult to explain, as they often blame others for their problems and unhappiness.
Authoritarian Parenting ModelParents who are able to meet their children's need for discipline and self-esteem are called authoritarian. They clearly convey high, but not unrealistic, expectations for their children's behavior. They expect good things from their children and reinforce them when they happen. They also tend to offer more positive words of encouragement in the right places. On the other hand, when children act, authoritative parents respond with firm boundaries, but without outbursts of anger. They are warm, reasonable, and sensitive to the child's needs. They support the child's individuality and encourage increased independence.
Authoritative parents tend to have competent children. These children are more self-sufficient, self-sufficient, content and happy. In general, they are accepted and appreciated by their peers and do better in school. Their self-esteem was very good and they said they had a happier childhood experience overall.